Gratitude Week Three

I am a little behind with this week's post.  I have been battling a problem with depression lately.  I have some decisions to make and I don't really want to do this.  My sister also has found out she may have cancer and this is worrying me a little.  We will find out tommorrow if it is colon cancer or not.  If you read this please pray for her and her daughter and grandson.  So this week it has been a little hard to think about gratitude but I have so much to be grateful for.  One thing I just sort of figured out today was that I have a friend in Devin.  She is one of my care-givers and I was her nanny when she was little but today I realized she really is a woman now.  This past year I have watched her mature a lot.  Also my friend Sandy has been there so much for me this week and my friend Jo Ann has tried to be there for me but she is going thru alot herself.  SO here goes this is what I am thankful for this week.

1.  For the healing power we have because of Jesus, that God heals us and if not here we have our healing in a glorified body when we pass away.

2. That God has blessed me with wonderful friends in my life, who are there for me when I need them.

3.  That God has blessed my family to be relatively healthy thus far.  If we have to face the big C with my sister I have assurance that God will be with us through the battle.

So that is it for this week.  I really thought it would be harder but when you think about all you have in your life even in your darkest times you can find something to be grateful for.

Just an update, Connie does have colon cancer in two places.  The doctor feels they can remove it and she will not have to have chemo.  She also has a spot on her kidney and spleen.  I am thankful it is not worse than that.  We know God has us in His hands. Please pray for her and our family.

Weight loss journey

I have been on a plateau with my weight loss for a while now.  The nutritionist that was helping me decided that she couldn't continue to help me and I was down and depressed.  I have now gotten the opportunity to work with a new dietician and she is so encouraging.  She told me that anyone who successfully loses weight at my size has those plateaus.  She said my body felt like I was starving it and was holding onto everything and it sometimes takes 6 months or more for it to adjust.  I have maintained the 80 lbs lost and that we are going to get motivated and started going forward again.  I am documenting my progress with myfitnesspal.com and I am putting the physical therapy that I have just finished into play.  So with the thought of going forward I am going to post some goals so I can stay accountable:

1.  I plan to track my blood sugars 2 or more times a day.
2.  I plan to keep track of my food and exercise everyday on myfitnesspal.com
3.  I plan to keep a more positive attitude about the future and that God is helping me through this journey.

I think I have fell in love with making lists lately(lol).  Anyway, this is just a little bit of what is going on and I am holding myself accountable with this blog.

The Day before Easter

Tommorrow may be a busy day so I decided to post my gratitude posting one day early.  Easter is the day we celebrate that Jesus rose from the grave.  In His resurrection is the hope we have that all His promises are true, that we will have eternal life in Heaven, and most of all that He is our Saviour.  I am so thankful that He chose to die on the cross for my sins, that He chose to suffer the beatings and the shame for me.  I have claimed His stripes, from the beating He received, for my healing on so many occasions.  Jesus did so much for me that I can never repay Him even if I lived a thousand years and served Him continually night and day. 

This week my church has been in revival.  I got to attend Wednesday and Thursday night.  Wednesday night the pastor preached on patience and waiting on God.  He read from Mark 5 about the girl that was sick and her father asked for her healing.  On the way to heal the little girl He was thronged with the crowd and the woman who had the issue of blood touched the hem of His garment and was made whole.  When He got to the house where the little girl was the servant said she was dead. Jesus asked them where was their faith and told them that the girl was just sleeping.  So many times over the last few years I have wondered when my healing would come.  I suffer daily from so many things and I felt like I had reached my breaking point.  This sermon gave me hope that God was still going to move on my behalf.  Thursday night the pastor preached on faith and a dear brother testified.  I have had a heavy heart for over a year for him and when he stood up and told how that night he had received something he had been desiring I felt so great for him.  He has gone through so much and I know how hard it is to feel far from God.  You don't really want be in that shape.  This man had always teased me and I had looked forward to his smiles and his laughter.  When he started fighting his battle he looked so sad and alone.  He still tried to smile and joke but you could tell he just wasn't the same.  I am so thankful God moved for him.

So I guess the things I am grateful for this week are:

1.  That Jesus chose to die for my sins and that He rose again on the third day that I might have life.
2.  I am grateful for the revival, I needed it so badly and I feel like I can go on a little longer.
3.  I am thankful that God moved for my friend, it's wonderful to rejoice with your brothers and sisters over how God has moved in their life it can give you hope that God isn't through with you.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Easter and that you all remember what Jesus has did for you!

Gratitude

For a while now I have wanted to start writing gratitude postings on my blog.  I was reading an article in Reader's Digest about how being grateful and expressing it at least once a week makes a person happier.  So at first I decided, oh, I will post everyday then but I went back and reread the article or the rest of the story as they say and here is the gist of it.  People who started out this experiment gungho and wrote in a gratitude journal everyday soon became burned out and went back to the old way.  The feelings of thankfulness and a sense of well being disappeared.  The study showed that those who expressed their gratitude once a week kept up the practice and over time showed increased levels of happiness and contentment with their lives.

I have been going through a battle with anger and resentment.  My mom has constantly been on my case about not being thankful for what I have and not being grateful.  So when I read this article I decided I really needed to try it.  I am becoming more bitter daily and I hate that about myself.  I have so much to be thankful for.  A lot of the anger is really disappointment in people and the resentment is rooted in feelings of self-pity about being ill.  I can't change the circumstances I am in, only God has been able to move for me and He has on numerous occasions.  I just get frustrated and depressed about how long it is taking for things to change.  So having said all this I believe I need to express my gratitude and I am going to try to do so once a week.  This is Palm Sunday and what better day to start this than on the day we celebrate Jesus' coming to Jerusalem and the week that led up to His crucifixion.  So here goes my list for this week:

1.  I am thankful that I am a child of God.

2.  I am grateful for Jesus and His sacrifice for me on Calvary.
3.  I am thankful I was raised to know and love God.
4.  I am thankful for the Holy Ghost and His comforting presence in my life.

Now for more personal everyday gratitide.

1.  I am thankful for bread, even though I am not supposed to eat a lot of it and I didn't while trying to eat lower carb.  I don't want to put it before God but I am thankful for getting to eat bread again.
2.  I am thankful for my home, God provided me a home 6 years ago after years of being tossed about from place to place and I am so thankful to be settled and have a peaceful place to live.
3.  I am thankful for a means of support for myself and that God provides for my every need and most of my wants.  I feel quite spoiled most of the time.  I feel like all I have to do is think I would like to have this and I get it.  Example: My sister brought groceries in and I hadn't asked her to get bologna but somehow my mother realized I wanted it and when I looked in the bag there was bologna.  Little things mean a lot.

Being grateful is a state of mind you can choose to have.  I hope this is a step to me overcoming my battle, becoming more thankful, and bringing joy and happiness into my life. 

New project and teaching.

Coming to the end of the semester and looking back on the blog posts.  There haven't been that many.  It doesn't mean that life hasn't gone on.  Actually it means I have a more active life than I had before.  I am so thankful for the opportunity that has been provided for me to attend college over the internet.  I am realizing a dream I have had since I was a small child.  I wanted to be a teacher from a young age.  I have two younger sisters and I made them play school all the time and of course  I was the teacher.  The farther along I get in the process the more I realize this is what I am supposed to do.  Teach.  I naturally love to see others learn something, anything.  My niece Rayvn spent the night with me after Thanksgiving.  She is very curious by nature and we were laying on the bed talking and she was asking me questions.  Somehow this turned into a math lesson.  I was surprised that she readily grasped the fact that anything times 0 is 0.  This is a concept that is sometimes hard to understand and she just got it.   I really don't think it had to do with my teaching ability but her intelligence but seeing the look in her eyes when she grasped the concept just magnified my love for teaching.  I am starting a new project soon and I want everyone to pray for me that I will be able to do a good job.  This project will last for a while maybe even years and I am looking forward to it. I just need prayer that I will be able to use the skills I am developing and present the material in the right way.

Horribly behind

I love to blog.  I actually came into this area today because I am taking a technology class and one of the assignments was to explore Blogger, I was like ha, ha.  I haven't had time to go there since school started.  I am taking 5 classes and it is all I can do to keep up with that.  I love school though, the little stresses are worth what I get out of it.  My mind is staying active on things other than my problems and that is the biggest reward I could get out of it, well besides the fact that I will have a degree one day hopefully.  I didn't go to Myrtle Beach during fall break. I wasn't feeling well that month, ear was swelled closed and our church had a fall bazaar during that time and Devin helped in it I believe.  Anyway I have been doing well lately.  I have actually been blessed with about two really good weeks.  I was a little weepy yesterday because of the time of year but 1 bad day out of 14 is better than 14 out of 14.  I am looking forward to Christmas this year.  I actually have finished all my shopping except getting the cookbooks from church for my sisters bags.  My dad died two weeks before Christmas so this is always a hard time of the year and I don't usually like Christmas but Devin and I have even talked about decorating soon so I am really ready for a good Christmas this year.  I am thankful that God has brought me to a good place.  I would like everyone to remember my friend Sandy.  She is going through a lot and she needs all the prayers she can get.

The future looks good

I am still plodding along on the weight loss.  I had become a little discouraged with it all and had thought about quitting but I have decided to start again.  Sometimes just making a new start at something helps you to get out of the rut you're in.  My family thought that starting college would make me more nervous and anxious but it has actually helped alot. When you are alone all day long everyday, with the exception of when Devin is with me, it gets hard to keep your mind occupied and that's when the thoughts creep in.  You know the one's I mean, your past, your failings, the insecurites, and fear.  Sunday night a young brother got up to preach and it was like he was talking to me. He said that when things enter your mind get your mind on God instead.  I am trying to get my mind on the Lord when those things enter my head.  Then Monday night at the women's meeting Sis Brenda reinterated that thought.  She told us of a saying I had heard all my life but it's nice to be reminded of it from time to time.  Thoughts are like birds, you can't help one flying over your head but you can keep it from making a nest there.  I am trying to keep the birds nest out of my hair now.  I feel like I let one move in and hatch eggs for so long, lol.  I am doing good in school and looking forward to learning a lot more.  I love to learn, not so much the grading thing though.  I am looking forward to fall break.  Devin and I are planning on going to Myrtle Beach to visit my sister Chrissy, if it is the Lord's will and nothing doesn't happen. The future looks good.