Today

Today has been a historic day. The first black US president. I watched the inauguration at 12 or a little after, I missed the swearing in. I remember the first time I watched it was when President Reagan was sworn in. I was so excited then. I was probably what 6 or something. Now at 34, to watch something I never thought would happen in my lifetime. I remember thinking back then that somewhere in Africa or something had a female black president and thinking why don't we have one. At six you don't understand the political situation of a country. I loved Rev. Lowery. I laughed so hard at his closing remarks. I even cried as he read his prayer for our nation. I pray that this nation prospers myself. The financial situation doesn't look promising but my mom says that she was born during the depression and those people who have always had plenty are going to learn how to be thankful for what God gives them. I am so blessed now in my life. There have been times when I was a child that we didn't know where the next meal was coming from. God always supplied our needs. I remember one time we didn't have a stove or refrigerator. They had broken down and someone had let us use theirs for a while and then they needed them back. We had a tiny refrigerator my mom's friend had in her camper and a microwave forever. My aunt would come over at least once a week and my mom would keep her in the living room so she wouldn't know. My aunt finally one day just went straight to the kitchen. She was in shock. We hadn't had a stove in almost a year. She turned around and went home and one hour later we had a stove. She had gotten a new one from her son's new mobile home and gave us her old one. God supplied that need. Everytime we would be without food another aunt would call mom and ask her to take her to the grocery store. She would get items 2 for 1 and give the extra to my mom. Invariably everytime my mom went there she cleaned out her freezer and gave mom what she didn't want. She didn't know until I was grown that we didn't have anything at those times. I used to worry when I was at school what my mom was eating. She didn't know I worried until lately. She assured me she always had something to eat. When my dad was alive we always had food because he always had a garden but mom was sickly for awhile and didn't feel like putting out a garden and just got out of the habit. I am not saying these things for sympathy just letting everyone know that God always supplies our needs. He may not give us exactly what we want but we always have what we need. Times are hard now but this country has faced hard times before. We will overcome with God's help.

Life

This week has been a roller coaster ride. From a high high to a low low. Tuesday my personal trainer came to my house for our first session. He was really nice and I think I am going to like having him come to see me once a week for support and for learning how to move my body so I can get healthier. God just worked this out so that I could have the support I needed to lose weight. I spent Christmas Eve day at my mom's house. I almost fell when I was leaving and had a hard time getting to the car to go home. This totally ruined everything that had went before. I spent Christmas Day at home by myself which had sort of been the tradition since I moved out of my mom's house 5 years ago. Friday night I started having a melt down. I cried all weekend. On Sunday afternoon a brother from church that has never called me before called my mom and got my phone number and called me to check on me. I cried and cried when I got off the phone because I knew God had heard my cries and was letting me know that He heard me and that I would be ok. After church Sunday night a sister who I have known my whole life but who rarely calls me called and just wanted to know if I was ok. I am thankful for my church family and for God impressing on their hearts that I needed someone to pray and I needed someone to reach out to me. I get so frustrated sometimes and I wonder when it all will get better or when things will change but I just have to keep focused and learn to roll with this crazy thing called life.

Family Christmas

Yesterday my family celebrated Christmas. The kids couldn't wait to open their presents and Jaxon started opening them up before everyone got there. I wanted to share my plan for yesterday. I talked to my mom and found out what was being served and then I planned what I would eat accordingly. My mom brought a plate to me and I ate in the livingroom with the kids playing while everyone else ate around the kitchen table. I know this didn't help in distancing myself from others but it helped me achieve my goal of not overeating. I ate mostly protein and vegetables and didn't eat potato salad or bread. I enjoyed a sugar free dessert and savored the taste of all the other food I allowed myself to eat. The only set back was when two of my sisters started eating dessert in front of me. I asked one of them to not bring anything else in and then the other one came in so I asked her to go back to the kitchen. No one really liked that I did that but I need to be true to myself and I couldn't handle the temptation of fudge and cake. I hope by this time next year I am able to walk around and enjoy being with my family without having to plan ahead but if not I will make it. I have to keep telling myself that I can win this fight with God's help.

The Joy and Pain of two year olds

I have a had wonderful past two days. I have felt happy and hopeful. Of course watching a 2 year old play always puts a smile on my face. My sister Chrissy brought her son Jaxon to visit yesterday. He is so smart. He can watch you do something one time and then he knows how to do it from then on. He can even see part of what you are doing and figure the rest out. He has had a delay in speech but in my family it is probably more of not being able to get a word in edge-wise. He is the kind of person who sets back and looks over the situation and then acts. He's a lot like my dad that way. He has the most incredible little laugh. He laughs all the time and it is so infectious. He also has the worst temper I have ever seen. He screams if he doesn't get his way and he doesn't give up or back down. You know when a kid does something and you tell him to look you in the eye and most kids won't they will do anything to keep from looking you in the eye because they know they are in trouble. Well he will look you straight in the eye and he doesn't back down or give up. My nieces and nephews are just wonders but of course I am prejudiced. Sara and Bayker have already showed musical talent and Rayvn is so tender hearted. Jaxon is just a bundle of joy. Mom says he is meaner than a striped snake but of course it's when he is acting like granny that he is mean(usually when he won't back down for nothing). I think it is funny how they will stare each other down because it's her eyes only brown looking at her. I don't think she has realized that yet. I guess I should stop talking about him for now.

Thanksgiving

I am so thankful for the wonderful Thanksgiving Day that my family had. I got to go to my mom's for Thanksgiving. In the past few years I have missed more family holidays than I have been able to attend. Last year I fell the day before Thanksgiving and broke my knee in two places so I missed Thanksgiving and Christmas so I feel especially blessed this year to get to spend the time with my family. This year I may even go on Christmas. I have spent Christmas Day at home the last four years. My family usually celebrates Christmas early because my sisters go to their in-laws homes on Christmas Day but this year my sister Chrissy's husband does not get off for Christmas til the day before and he will be coming from South Carolina so we will celebrate the Saturday after Christmas more than likely but I think I will go to my mom's on Christmas Day anyway. My sister Connie didn't come up for Thanksgiving and Candy was in Nashville with her husband's mother so it was the three babies, me, Chanda, and Chrissy and my brother-in-law Steve and my niece Rayvn and my nephews Jaxon and Bayker. We had a wonderful time and my mom actually cooked the meal this year. She hasn't cooked the Thanksgiving meal in about 4 or 5 years. Me, Chanda, or Chrissy and sometimes a combination of us all cook and Connie or Candy may bring a dessert or something but this year we kept it really simple and mom was able to cook it herself. Of course Chanda is not feeling well, I couldn't drive up there early and fix anything like I have before and Chrissy didn't get in til the night before so that is why she did it. I think it made her happy that she was able to do it. She has either had a broken arm or she had been sick every year. One year my sister Connie was in the hospital. Thank God that everyone was well this year. Speaking of being well my sister Chanda has to go in the hospital Tuesday for a biopsy on her spine. I am sort of upset about this not because I don't know that God can heal her but because this is the time of year we lost my dad and it always makes us cautious when one of us gets sick this time of year. My dad, Jay Shelton, died two weeks before Christmas 25 years ago and it still bothers us. I don't agree that time makes things better because some days it will hit me and it will be just like I was that 9 year old kid again. Of course those days are fewer and farther between but it is still there. Please be in prayer for my sister and my family. My baby sister Chrissy and her son Jaxon is going to stay with us until after Christmas. Her husband Steve and their oldest son Bayker are going home so please pray for Steve that Bayker won't get sick or anything and that he will be able to handle him alone. Chrissy is staying to help take care of my mom, Chanda, Rayvn, and me since we don't have anyone else to do it. Candy is in school until the middle of December and I know she will be helping too. Connie has to work and will not be able to help much but I know she will go to the hospital and sit with Chanda and help her as much as she can. Just please keep us in your prayers.