Survive vs Thrive

I have been thinking a lot lately about survival.  Survival is ingrained in our brains, bodies, I guess you could say our very cells.  It seems for so long now I have merely survived.  I am like the flower in the garden that keeps coming back year after year that is weaker and weaker with each passing season.  I am ready to thrive.  It seems no matter how hard I try I keep getting stuck and never going forward.  It's like an invisible wall is set at a certain point on my journey and no matter how hard I push or what I throw at that wall it never yields.  I've stood before the wall many times over the years.  I have devised many plans to make that wall crumble at my feet.  It is still there and I am still on this side of the wall.  I have tried to go over it, under it, around it, and through it but still it remains.  Strong, unmoveable, keeping me from where I need to be.  I don't want to become complacent and decide to live on this side of the wall.  The other side holds unknown trials and I am sure some rough roads but the other side calls me to overcome the wall, to move forward and in to the destiny God has for me.  It calls me to action time and again.  I am weak now but God can make me strong again. 

I know this all seems to be poetic or unreal but this is a real struggle I have faced for years.  I quit to come back to the wall over and over again.  I have faced this battle so many times in my life and I want to overcome. Please help me pray that this time I won't fall, this time I will prevail against the enemy and move through to the other side. This time I am calling on my friends and family to help me pray and I am praying God moves quickly for me.  

Please also remember my family this week.  We have had several illnesses...Chanda's knee, Candy's asthma attacks, and Connie goes in for surgery for colon cancer on Thursday.  I know my own struggles are minute in comparison to the battle Connie is facing. Please, please pray that God will heal her and move for her and that this time she will move forward and not go back either.