Gratitude Week 5

A lot is going on in my life right now.  I am finishing the semester up at school today.  I am going to be looking for a new caregiver soon.  JoAnn just really doesn't have the time anymore to help me, take care of her family, and work a full-time job.  When she started working for me she was at another store and could work her schedule out better but with the move to the bigger store and everything it's just really been a struggle for her to be here when I need her to be.  My sister Connie goes in for surgery for her colon cancer May 6th or 7th.  Please pray for her and for the surgeons hands that God will guide them to take out exactly what needs to be removed.  Chanda found out that her knee was not a torn ligament or tendon like the doctors suspected but was actually the same thing that is wrong with mine only she found out in an earlier stage.  Please pray that God can heal her knees and she can do what she needs to do to gain better health.  She is in the last legs of her nurses training and she just keeps saying "I just want to be able to finish", she is scheduled to graduate in August I believe. 
On to the weight loss journey.  I have gained back some weight.  I now have only lost 60 lbs.  I have to get determined.  I have been in a deep depression lately and I can't seem to get out of it.  That hasn't helped the weight loss because I eat when I get upset.  If I don't lose the weight I am signing my own death warrant.  In related issues, I have determined I am a foody.  I had the best ice cream in the world the other day.  It reminded me of when I was a child and my mom used to take us to Kay's Ice Cream Parlor for a special treat.  We never had ice cream in the house growing up, for that matter we didn't have chips, cokes, cookies, or cakes.  If it didn't come from the garden we didn't eat it basically, except for hamburger, bread, and maccaroni and cheese(the powder kind, and the staples, (you know= flour, meal, shortening, tea, coffee, sugar).  We always had plenty to eat we just didn't eat like other people did.  Anyway the ice cream was Kay's Strawberry Shortcake.  OH MY GOSH!!!  Jo Ann and I got some and as I was eating it I was trying to figure out the flavors.  I kept saying if I didn't know better I would think it had buttermilk in it.  Well, it did, it was awesome, buttermilk, whole milk, cream, eggs, cream cheese, strawberries.  What's not to love.

So that brings us to the gratitude list:

1)  I am thankful for God's healing power.  I know He can touch my sister's bodies like he has so many times in the past.  He has healed my family of cancer, CHF, other heart issues, I watched my mother have a stroke when I was about 10 and I called for prayer and I watched her face return to normal right before my eyes.  I know God's power to heal is not gone.  I know if it is His will He will heal them both. 
2)  I am thankful for the opportunity God has blessed me with to attend college.  It was a life-long dream of mine to be a teacher.  Through God's grace He has taken the mistakes I made right out of high school and turned them around so that I will be able to obtain a degree in Elementary Education.  I can never thank God enough for this opportunity.  I had a full tuituion scholarship to Lincoln Memorial University when I finished High School and I decided that it was more important to enter the work force and support myself than to go away to school.  I was broken hearted over it for a long time because I did what I felt I had to.  God really can mend your broken heart and restore to you the things you thought you had lost forever. 
3)  I am thankful for the food I have to eat.  God has always blessed us to have enough even in times when we wouldn't have anymore food in the house.  God has never left my family hungry and He has blessed me to be able to have an appetite. This can be a two-edged sword for me but I have seen people who wanted to eat not be able to and I am thankful that God has blessed me to not have to go through that to this present time.  Pray that I can gain control, through God's help, of my addiction to eating too much. 

Gratitude Week 4

Sometimes you just have to decide to have a better attitude.  I have been in and am still in a funk.  I have decided I am going to try to be in a better mood.  Sunday night I got to attend church service and I really needed it.  Circumstances have worked out that I had not gotten to go to church very often in the past 5 weeks.  My care givers or their families have been sick or I have been sick and I think I went to church twice in 5 weeks.  I hate missing church.  I try to attend at least two services a week and I think this has contributed to my being down.  It is such an uplift to go to church and hear a sermon. Sometimes, like Sunday night, they are especially for you and other times you can see them touching others lives or preparing us for what's to come. Bro. Curtis came to my house last week and fixed my wheelchair. I had worried about it for a while because if I take it in to be serviced they usually want to keep it and I don't have any way of doing my normal everyday activities like cooking or washing clothes or dishes. I was without it for a while last year and it was horrible.  Devin's aunt passed away Sunday and it really made me realize how short life is.  She was only in her late 50's or early 60's but had had numerous illnesses.  So please remember her family when you pray.  I am grateful for the following this week:

1.  Brothers who will help you when you are in need and who follow the leading they get from God, Thank you to Bro. Curtis

2.  Getting to attend church, I really needed it and Bro. Jason really touched my heart and helped me on my journey Sunday night.

3.  For my life, sometimes I take for granted actually being alive.  I have often heard ministers talk about how God let's us have life.  They ask everyone to move their pinky finger and say God let us do that.  It's easy to forget how precious life is.

I hope everyone who reads this has a wonderful week and please remember me and my family when you pray.

Gratitude Week Three

I am a little behind with this week's post.  I have been battling a problem with depression lately.  I have some decisions to make and I don't really want to do this.  My sister also has found out she may have cancer and this is worrying me a little.  We will find out tommorrow if it is colon cancer or not.  If you read this please pray for her and her daughter and grandson.  So this week it has been a little hard to think about gratitude but I have so much to be grateful for.  One thing I just sort of figured out today was that I have a friend in Devin.  She is one of my care-givers and I was her nanny when she was little but today I realized she really is a woman now.  This past year I have watched her mature a lot.  Also my friend Sandy has been there so much for me this week and my friend Jo Ann has tried to be there for me but she is going thru alot herself.  SO here goes this is what I am thankful for this week.

1.  For the healing power we have because of Jesus, that God heals us and if not here we have our healing in a glorified body when we pass away.

2. That God has blessed me with wonderful friends in my life, who are there for me when I need them.

3.  That God has blessed my family to be relatively healthy thus far.  If we have to face the big C with my sister I have assurance that God will be with us through the battle.

So that is it for this week.  I really thought it would be harder but when you think about all you have in your life even in your darkest times you can find something to be grateful for.

Just an update, Connie does have colon cancer in two places.  The doctor feels they can remove it and she will not have to have chemo.  She also has a spot on her kidney and spleen.  I am thankful it is not worse than that.  We know God has us in His hands. Please pray for her and our family.

Weight loss journey

I have been on a plateau with my weight loss for a while now.  The nutritionist that was helping me decided that she couldn't continue to help me and I was down and depressed.  I have now gotten the opportunity to work with a new dietician and she is so encouraging.  She told me that anyone who successfully loses weight at my size has those plateaus.  She said my body felt like I was starving it and was holding onto everything and it sometimes takes 6 months or more for it to adjust.  I have maintained the 80 lbs lost and that we are going to get motivated and started going forward again.  I am documenting my progress with myfitnesspal.com and I am putting the physical therapy that I have just finished into play.  So with the thought of going forward I am going to post some goals so I can stay accountable:

1.  I plan to track my blood sugars 2 or more times a day.
2.  I plan to keep track of my food and exercise everyday on myfitnesspal.com
3.  I plan to keep a more positive attitude about the future and that God is helping me through this journey.

I think I have fell in love with making lists lately(lol).  Anyway, this is just a little bit of what is going on and I am holding myself accountable with this blog.

The Day before Easter

Tommorrow may be a busy day so I decided to post my gratitude posting one day early.  Easter is the day we celebrate that Jesus rose from the grave.  In His resurrection is the hope we have that all His promises are true, that we will have eternal life in Heaven, and most of all that He is our Saviour.  I am so thankful that He chose to die on the cross for my sins, that He chose to suffer the beatings and the shame for me.  I have claimed His stripes, from the beating He received, for my healing on so many occasions.  Jesus did so much for me that I can never repay Him even if I lived a thousand years and served Him continually night and day. 

This week my church has been in revival.  I got to attend Wednesday and Thursday night.  Wednesday night the pastor preached on patience and waiting on God.  He read from Mark 5 about the girl that was sick and her father asked for her healing.  On the way to heal the little girl He was thronged with the crowd and the woman who had the issue of blood touched the hem of His garment and was made whole.  When He got to the house where the little girl was the servant said she was dead. Jesus asked them where was their faith and told them that the girl was just sleeping.  So many times over the last few years I have wondered when my healing would come.  I suffer daily from so many things and I felt like I had reached my breaking point.  This sermon gave me hope that God was still going to move on my behalf.  Thursday night the pastor preached on faith and a dear brother testified.  I have had a heavy heart for over a year for him and when he stood up and told how that night he had received something he had been desiring I felt so great for him.  He has gone through so much and I know how hard it is to feel far from God.  You don't really want be in that shape.  This man had always teased me and I had looked forward to his smiles and his laughter.  When he started fighting his battle he looked so sad and alone.  He still tried to smile and joke but you could tell he just wasn't the same.  I am so thankful God moved for him.

So I guess the things I am grateful for this week are:

1.  That Jesus chose to die for my sins and that He rose again on the third day that I might have life.
2.  I am grateful for the revival, I needed it so badly and I feel like I can go on a little longer.
3.  I am thankful that God moved for my friend, it's wonderful to rejoice with your brothers and sisters over how God has moved in their life it can give you hope that God isn't through with you.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Easter and that you all remember what Jesus has did for you!